FEBRUARY 27TH, 2002
11:41:14 PM EST
"We're Holding Your FREE Pillow For You! Please Come to Get it!"
i'm about to open a letter which says that on the back of the envelope.
FEBRUARY 27TH, 2002
11:42:23 PM EST
wow! there actually seems to be a real certificate for a FREE pillow inside. one of those space age foam ones.
i would be suspicious if i had to pay for it to be shipped, and although i still AM suspicious, it says here i just need to go to the south shore plaza to pick my free pillow up, at lord and taylors! they must have mistaken me for some dumb rich old man who would succumb to the powers of salesmanship once they got their free pillow.
i don't know why i'm so excited. i guess i need a new pillow.
FEBRUARY 28TH, 2002
4:19:42 AM EST
i drove to the southshore plaza to
get my free pillow today.
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i only vaguely knew how to get there, judging only from memories i had of going there when i was a little kid. eventually, after a few wrong turns, i made my way to the solomon pond mall. |
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i had gotten this certificate in the mail a few days prior, and intended to pick up my free pillow. i walked inside the mall, and made my way to the select comforts store, where my certificate said my free pillow was waiting. |
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i stood infront of the store, and
took taht picture. i heard a whistling sound come from inside the store.
i let my camera slump around my neck, and looked at the source of the whistle. it was a 24 year old guy, who looked like some sort of a college football jock. "uh, can i help you sir? what's with the camera?" "OH!" i said enthusiastically, "see, i have this certificate, for a free pillow! and i'm here to pick it up..." he glanced at me, and glanced at the certificate. |
"oh, well, we're all out of these. what was --"
"all out?? damn! that's sad."
"why were you taking pictures?"
"oh you know, monumental occasion and all, getting a free pillow and all that. when do you think my pillow will be ready?"
"you gotta ask permission, no photos allowed."
"oh, well that's sad as well. when will my pillow be ready?"
"try next week. but i don't think we're getting any more."
"oh. well, uhm, maybe i'll be back next thursday!"
i really think he was holding out on me. whatever. i sulked back out to my car, dissappointed.
i sat in my car, sad as could be.
why didn't they have my pillow??, i thought to myself. why would they do this to me??
i broke out crying.
why! why would they do this to me! why would they do this to anyone! are they EVER going to give me my free pillow?
i was worried. i was really worried.
the future was so uncertain at this point. all i wanted was that damned
pillow, why the hell couldn't they just give it to me!? what RIGHT did
they have??
WHO WERE THEY TO NOT GIVE ME MY PILLOW?
WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE WOULD GET SOMEONE EXCITED ABOUT A FREE PILLOW, AND
THEN NOT GIVE THAT SOMEONE HIS FREE PILLOW??
I WILL GET THAT PILLOW! i thought
to myself. THERE IS NOTHING THAT WILL BE ABLE TO STOP ME FROM MY FREE,
ROYAL EGYPT PILLOW!
blood of vengeance was coursing through my veins, every inch of my body was crawling with a dark, itching desire to have this free pillow they promised me ripped from their hearts and into mine.
i could feel the madness consuming my body, as i overflowed with a sadistic rage.
